Gentle dullness ever loves a joke.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

The knowledge of God is very far from the love of Him.

A youth, when at home, should be filial and, abroad, respectful to his elders. He should be earnest and truthful. He should overflow in love to all and cultivate the friendship of the good. When he has time and opportunity, after the performance of these things, he should employ them in polite studies.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I know I’m more on television, and I’m more recognisable than maybe even the players because they run and train, but I just stand there, and my face does all these funny things that everyone can see all the time.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

I think women want freedom. They want to be empowered. They want hope. They want love; they want all the things that I want, and I’m not afraid to say those things and act on them, and I think that’s why they identify with me.

I searched for years I found no love. I’m sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

Anywhere I go, there is always an incredible crowd that follows me. In Rome, as I land at the airport, even the men kiss me. I love Rome.

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.

People say I look so happy – and I say, ‚That’s the Botox.‘

I don’t want enemies. I want friends, and I want them in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and loving whoever they want to.

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

No rapper in the world from Jay-Z to Tupac to Biggie has 100 percent love on everything they do.

Stand-up is my baby.

To every soul that knows how to pray, to every soul that by faith comes to Jesus, the true mercy seat, divine sovereignty wears no dark and terrible aspect but is full of love.

Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.

Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy… and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.

The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one’s appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

By taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so happy as a married man, that he wishes to be so a second time.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

Love to everybody who is out there progressing and taking things to the next level.

People like music when they’re in love, but they don’t need it as much. You need music when you’re missing someone or you’re pining for someone or you’re forgetting someone or you’re trying to process what just happened.

All women have a perception much more developed than men. So all women somehow, being repressed for so many millennia, they ended up by developing this sixth sense and contemplation and love. And this is something that we have a hard time to accept as part of our society.

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.

There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‚Yes,‘ you know he is a crook.

I’m not claiming divinity. I’ve never claimed purity of soul. I’ve never claimed to have the answers to life. I only put out songs and answer questions as honestly as I can… But I still believe in peace, love and understanding.

They do not love that do not show their love.

If I had to describe myself to an alien I’d say I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most. I’d also say I’m really handsome – especially if they were a female alien.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

Paradise was made for tender hearts; hell, for loveless hearts.

My friends are people who like building cool stuff. We always have this joke about people who want to just start companies without making something valuable. There’s a lot of that in Silicon Valley.

When I walk with you I feel as if I had a flower in my buttonhole.

Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers.

Death surrenders us totally to God: it makes us enter into him; we must, in return, surrender ourselves to death with absolute love and self-abandonment since, when death comes, all we can do is to surrender ourselves completely to the domination and guidance of God.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‚President Can’t Swim.‘

A person once asked me, in a provocative manner, if I approved of homosexuality. I replied with another question: ‚Tell me: when God looks at a gay person, does he endorse the existence of this person with love, or reject and condemn this person?‘ We must always consider the person.

Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

I think what motivates people is not great hate, but great love for other people.

The only big things I’ve purchased are my dad’s heart valve and a Rolls-Royce for my parents, for their anniversary. And that was only because my dad had a Lady Gaga license plate on our old car and it was making me crazy because he was getting followed everywhere, so I bought him a new car.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

In all private quarrels the duller nature is triumphant by reason of dullness.

If someone is right for you, you’ll know it.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

The best way to know God is to love many things.

Marriage is scary to me, man.

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

Mine is only one of the millions of hearts broken over the death of Whitney Houston, I will always be grateful and in awe of the wonderful performance she did on my song, and I can truly say from the bottom of my heart, ‚Whitney, I will always love you. You will be missed.‘

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.