There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things.

It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.

As you get older, you have more responsibilities; you have more commitments, more events, kids, you’re married now. You still have all the things that you’ve had, plus you just keep adding.

The one badge of Christian discipleship is not orthodoxy but love.

When I see myself as an old woman, I just think about being happy. And hopefully, I’ll still be fly.

To every soul that knows how to pray, to every soul that by faith comes to Jesus, the true mercy seat, divine sovereignty wears no dark and terrible aspect but is full of love.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

No one is a friend to his friend who does not love in return.

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy.

People react to fear, not love; they don’t teach that in Sunday School, but it’s true.

You’re unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

I’ve had moments when I’ve thought about somebody, picked up the phone to call them and they are on the line already, and I think that maybe there’s some vibration, some connection.

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much.

There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

To get a hold on boys you must be their friend.

I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.

Love is trembling happiness.

I’m the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren’t no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn’t know about them.

I’m looking for backing for an unauthorized auto-biography that I am writing. Hopefully, this will sell in such huge numbers that I will be able to sue myself for an extraordinary amount of money and finance the film version in which I will play everybody.

There’s many a man has more hair than wit.

If our condition were truly happy, we would not seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy.

Perhaps people like us cannot love. Ordinary people can – that is their secret.

I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing, and the shadow won.

You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It’s one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear.

He didn’t come out of my belly, but my God, I’ve made his bones, because I’ve attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I’m so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride.

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish.

My mother and my father have been married 50 years, and he’s just started to understand that something’s wrong with the system. He accepted the whole thing, you see. Yet this industrious kind of engagement didn’t bring him the success, according to American terms, that he wanted. I was probably affected by this very much. In fact, I know I was.

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

In order to have friends, you must first be one.

To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.

Isn’t it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks.

It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming.

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.

To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

That is why, no matter how desperate the predicament is, I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane, straightening my derby hat and fixing my tie, even though I have just landed on my head.

I used to live with my grandmother. I used to wonder why the other kids in school went home with their mothers and fathers. I wanted to be the guy that got married. I wanted to be the guy with the children and the white picket fence. I never had that.

Whenever a fellow tells me he’s bipartisan, I know he’s going to vote against me.

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

When you’re in comedy, people always come up and say, ‚Oh, it must be so hard.‘ It really isn’t hard unless you’re not good at it. If you can do it, its really kind of fun and easy.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend – and he’s a priest.

Since the very beginning, Emeril’s had a sense of humor about me calling him names and poking fun at him.

Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination.

I cannot remember a moment in my life when I have not felt the love of my family. We were a family that would have killed for each other – and we still are.

Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

One can love a child, perhaps, more deeply than one can love another adult, but it is rash to assume that the child feels any love in return.

Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had time.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

My wife and I don’t compete. We know each other’s preferences, and we work to provide those for each other. One will take over when the other is faced with something he or she dislikes. That’s what friends do.

If music be the food of love, play on.

What sweetness is left in life, if you take away friendship? Robbing life of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun. A true friend is more to be esteemed than kinsfolk.

We are not actually equal – humanity – if we are not allowed to freely love one another.

I don’t write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.

Precepts or maxims are of great weight; and a few useful ones on hand do more to produce a happy life than the volumes we can’t find.